Mind Behind the Crime by Cheryl Critchley

Author:Cheryl Critchley
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Pan Macmillan Australia
Published: 2018-04-14T16:00:00+00:00

PART III

DEPENDENT PERSONALITY DISORDER

DESPERATELY NEEDY

What is a dependent personality disorder

Having some degree of mutual dependency on another person with whom you have a close and caring relationship can be adaptive (beneficial) for both people. Such relationships can provide mutual support, loyalty and encouragement, cooperation and thoughtfulness. A dependent personality disorder (DPD), however, is characterised by a pattern of behaviour across a range of different contexts that reflects a very strong need to be advised, protected and taken care of by another person. This pattern of behaviour results in clinginess, over-compliance, separation anxiety and an intense fear of abandonment. Although someone with a DPD may also display some of this ‘needy’ and under-confident pattern of behaviour in their workplace, it is usually most evident in their close personal relationships.

An individual with a DPD is likely to seek out someone who will compensate for what they perceive are their own inadequacies and who will support, protect and make decisions for them in most aspects of their life. They tend to be overly sensitive to criticism. They are desperate for a relationship in which they can experience acceptance and approval and where the ‘right decisions’ will be made for them by the other person, whom they see as more competent. These decisions are likely to be about small day-to-day issues (What should I wear?) as well as larger issues (Should I quit my job?). The ‘price’ for this kind of support and protection can, however, be an expectation that the person with a DPD will always be submissive and accommodating to the wishes and desires of the other person. They are often too anxious to disagree with their partner for fear that their partner will abandon them.

Michael O’Neill, Chamari Liyanage and Anthony Sherna all had a dependent personality disorder and lived with stronger partners who dominated them to some degree. All ended up killing their partners when things went wrong. O’Neill’s partner, Stuart Rattle, was a well-known interior designer who had a close relationship with O’Neill but could be domineering and would often belittle him in public. Liyanage’s husband Dinendra ‘Din’ Athukorala was a violent and sexually perverted man who forced his wife into unwanted sexual acts with him and other people. Sherna claimed his wife, Susie Wild, was controlling and cruel to him. None could muster the courage to leave their relationships and ended up brutally killing their partner after they could no longer tolerate being dominated and abused.

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